Show Closing

I returned to San Francisco once more this summer, for the closing of my show. For the closing, I organized a concert of musicians playing through the Leslie. Then I spent a few more days in the bay delivering and installing works that people bought, before deinstalling the whole show and bringing the remaining pieces back to LA.

Installing the pool

Installing SIMPARCH’s plywood skate pool at Supreme.

Show opening

I finished the sculptures for my show Flashlights and then drove up to San Francisco to install them. My life had been on a nonstop train for the previous few months, with my dad in hospice, then dying, then planning his memorial, then leaving on tour for 6 weeks, then coming back home and working on the work for my show for another month. The show opening was the light at the end of that long tunnel.

May 23

Back in LA after a long tour. I caught up with friends and then took a quick trip to the bay to see In Concert- the gallery space where I would be having a solo show. And then another quick trip up to Owens Lake, for a bike ride.

Tour- New Zealand

Continued from previous post

Tour- Australia

Continued from previous post

Tour- Tokyo

Continued from previous post

Tour- Osaka, Hiroshima, Nagoya

[This is the first of four posts of photos from a tour I went on with Jackson Browne’s band - Japan,Aus,NZ]

While my dad was sick in hospice care at home, we spent a lot of time watching the 2009 Japanese television show Midnight Diner. This got us talking about Japan, where he had traveled many times to play music on tour with Jackson Browne. When my brother was in middle school he got to go along with my dad on a Japan tour, but I never got the chance. He said Jackson was about to leave on a two month tour of Japan, Australia, and New Zealand. If he wasn’t sick he’d be going too. He suggested I ask Jackson if it were possible for me to go on the tour as a member of the crew. I reached out to Jackson but heard back from him a few days later, saying that he didn’t think it would be logistically possible at that point to add another person. It was a long shot anyways. I hadn’t gotten my hopes up.

The day my dad died, my family sat around his bed for a while after he took his last breaths. After an unbroken hour, I got a phone call. It was Jackson. My mom said I should answer it. I did. I told him that Dad had just passed, and he was the first to know. He said he just wanted to tell me that he spoke with his management and they said it would be possible for me to come on the tour with them. It was startling news to receive in such a moment.

There were three weeks between my dad’s death and the start of the tour. We held his memorial service at our house. Shortly after this, I packed up and left for the first leg of the tour, to spend two months around the people he toured with for 30 years.

Continued in Part 2

Eulogy for Dad

Eulogy I read at the memorial of my father, Jeffrey Young (1955-2023)

I took this photo of my Dad in Fall 2019 for my therapist. I had just started seeing her and she suggested that bringing in photos of the people I talked about could help. I took the opportunity to photograph each member of my family. When I look at this photo now I think about how much our relationship changed in the three years since then.

Taking his portrait in our house was, I remember, the most time we had spent one on one in a long time. It was challenging to take his portrait, more intimate than I was comfortable with. I photographed him seated at the piano in the living room, because that was where I was most used to seeing him. His piano practicing and singing could always be heard throughout the house. When I spoke about him to my therapist I explained the block in our relationship. Never seeing eye-to-eye with each other, butting heads constantly. Occasional flare-ups then long periods of me being stubbornly closed off to him. I spoke about how he was hard of hearing from all the years of playing loud music on stage, although he was in denial about it. He always had a hard time hearing my voice, and made me repeat myself each time I spoke. He’d walk in my room. say. You good? Id say yeah. He’d say huh? Id say YEAH. This bit of friction in our daily communication was too frustrating for me to overcome, and so most of the time I found it easier not to speak to him.

A few months after I took the photo, COVID happened. Then we were all forced much closer but we retreated into our respective caves at home. My mom had her studio, my brother had his backhouse studio, my dad had the piano in the living room, and I had my bedroom. He’d play piano and sing his own songs all day.

I was focusing on my art classes, which had all gone to zoom. I could hear him singing new songs about the quarantine lockdown and Trump.

Each day id hear him revising the lyrics to the songs he was working on. He developed a whole album in the course of the first few weeks of lockdown. This was the first time I witnessed my dad’s creative process. I was in my room also trying to process the same thing, the pandemic, in my visual art classes.

I couldn’t stand listening to my dad everyday. I memorized the lyrics to all his songs by brute force, simply by hearing him practice them through the walls each day. I couldn’t focus in my room or stand to listen to him anymore. I was jealous of my brother, who had a soundproofed room on the other side of the yard. I dreamed of my own space where I could be in peace and not have to listen to him play piano and sing, and that was why I decided to build the shed.

Right when I finished the shed was when the first symptoms of his cancer showed up, August 2021.

Because of covid restrictions, we were only allowed to go in and visit him at the hospital one at a time. This was terrifying to me. I realized I had never had to be in a room with my dad one on one. Our first few hospital visits were awkward and brief.

Then his hospital stays became more frequent and it was harder to ignore the effects of his illness changing his body. Our hospital time became more routine and comfortable. The hospital rooms provided, for the first time, a quiet space for us to talk in. I didn’t have to constantly repeat myself so he could hear me. Our conversation flowed, maybe for the first time. We would watch nba games together and talk during the commercial breaks.

During one of my visits I asked him about growing up with Mabu, his brother. He told me that Mabu was the one who got him into playing music. they were in a band together. I asked if he had held onto any of their old recordings. He said, pass me my iPad. And he started playing their first album- released when they were in high school. the name of their band was Mabu’s Madness. He quickly turned it off, he was embarrassed by it. I made him play the entire thing. It sounded like a real funk band. I couldn’t believe he had never mentioned it to me.

When I went home I searched Mabu’s Madness and found it strange that it was on streaming services. Most of my dad’s albums weren’t even on streaming, how did this one from the 70s get on streaming ? I did some research and found that their small release had become some rare coveted soul-funk record by crate diggers. Original vinyl records were selling for hundreds of dollars online. a record label had repressed their LP a few years ago, and that’s why it was on streaming services

I excitedly brought my findings back to my dad at the hospital. I read him a blurb about the record I found online.

“Another insanely rare and highly coveted soul-funk gem from the tiny Maple label, which …punched way above its weight when it came to '70s R&B…[Johnny] Brantley is again behind the board for this 1971 one-off, which was led by drummer/singer/arranger Brad "Mabu" Young; it's full of funky surprises… M-Square sells for hundreds of dollars if you can find it, but you probably can’t”

I showed him the vinyl reissue with the fancy colored vinyl.

He wasn’t impressed. He just said, some people only like shit cause it’s obscure.

This showed me how much more there was to learn about my dad. His last few months in the hospital we talked more than we had in previous years combined. His long illness offered a long goodbye, a long time to break down the walls between us.

In January, he was in the ICU for a few weeks and came down with pneumonia on top of everything. He was placed on a breathing machine which forced his lungs to breathe with a mask that covered his mouth and nose.

This seemed like the very end at the time. My mom my brother and I sat around him and said our goodbyes. He was still conscious but his huge breathing mask made it hard for us to hear him speak. The thing keeping him from dying was also keeping him from saying his last goodbyes. He would try to speak to us, using what little energy he had to squeeze out the words, but he had to keep repeating himself, the friction in speaking made him go quiet.  a frustration all too familiar. This was the worst way for him to go, I thought.

I went to visit him in the hospital by myself a days later. he was still on the breathing machine. it was too hard for us to converse. we watched the Andy Griffith show. I asked him if he could write something on the cover of my journal. I handed it to him and he sat there for a few minutes thinking before putting pen to paper. His hands were so shaky he could hardly hold the paper. 15 minutes later he handed it back to me…



It says

“I’m here

I succeeded

I know that

Hope springs eternal”


I’m here , I succeeded , I know that


Hope spring’s eternal.

Which is how he signed off all his emails.


And he drew this eye. I’m still figuring out what it means.


He ended up leaving the hospital and entering hospice at home. I am so happy that we got another month with him at home. And I am so comforted by his last message. I’m here I succeeded I know that. I’m so glad he knew that.

Working with Badgett

For a few weeks, I worked with Steve Badgett putting the finishing touches on his skate bowl at the new LA Supreme store. I met Badgett through CLUI, and ran into him at the Museum of Jurassic Technology holiday party while he was in town finishing the bowl. He asked me to come help him and his assistant, Clay, on the bowl.

July 22

June 22

Spent the summer with Maya in New York. Didn’t remember to take photos often.

Moving

May 22

Fargo

Some friends from the one roll I shot this month.

Was driving past Jane’s house and caught her as she was arriving home from the airport. Hadn’t seen her in months.

LACMA construction

Sebastian, Dom, and Preston (not pictured) visiting me in the shed.

Emma put on Fargo on her mini TV in the kitchen at their house while she made fried chicken salad for lunch. I stood in the kitchen with her and watched while she cooked. We thought it was a funny movie to watch on a screen so small. And while standing up. We paused when she finished cooking and I sat with her and brem as they ate. Then we went back to the kitchen to watch as she cleaned up the dishes. Then maya called me upstairs and I missed the rest of the movie. 

Maya got emotional while packing up her bedroom. They’re getting evicted from their house in Pasadena where they’ve lived for two years at the end of the month because the landlord is gutting it and turning it into condos. I don’t think I’ve ever taken a photo of someone crying before.

Wedding in Napa

Maya and I drove up to Napa with Roman and Kyra for Vita and Jesse’s very extravagant wedding.

First rolls of color film processed at home

I got a color film developing kit and processed some film at home for the first time. These are some photos from the first two rolls.

Gianni

Shoe truck Gianni showed me. It was parked beside a cobbler’s shop.

Wienerschnitzel at the end of my street, which closed down while I was staying in Swansea. I once applied to work there as my first job, and went through an interview at one of the tables outside, but they never got back to me. Soon to be a yuppie coffee shop.

Light art piece at 10 Fwy overpass on Pico and Centinela, the threshold of Santa Monica and West LA. By Shiela Klein, who also made the Vermonica, which was originally at the intersection of Vermont and Santa Monica.

Maya on her porch.

Maya showing Brem the shoes I got her. Clover and Emma in back.

Stella

Olive’s House, designed by her parents. I always loved the birch plywood floors and walls.

Maya and Olive on Ashland Hill. I messed up while loading the film into the developing tank reel, so they ended up touching pressing against each other. Lost Olive in the process.

Harlan's Desert Shack

Desert Hot Springs, CA

Swansea snapshots

Swansea

For five weekends, I served as caretaker at the CLUI’s Owen’s Lake Land Observatory, while it was open for the season.

And every evening I watched the sunlight roll over the surrounding mountains…